A Lixy Life

It's been a week now, and here I am, still alive, and still kicking, and becoming more and more of a country girl by the day. For the last three years I've been quite the city girl, living in Tokyo amid the rush of life, fashion, trends, attitudes and business, and it's easy to, without even realizing it, get pulled along somewhat by the whirl of the world around you. I have to admit, I rather like the crazy life, as inside my hopelessly gemini mind I have too many random modes and cravings and I like to be in a place where I can find what I like when I like. But this can also be a danger for me I suppose, as like with most cravings, when is enough enough?

Thankfully I have a good God who knows me better then I do myself and loves me as I am, as well as for what I can be. These past years I've learned a lot on having to pace myself, to go slow when things are moving fast, to be at peace when stress builds up, to stay bright on gloomy days, and to smile when I feel a frown drooping to the floor. That's not to say I've mastered these things--considering I probably started with a bigger minus to my score then the average--but I'd like to think I was bad enough to have made good enough progress, heh. I had the honor of living with good people, really truly genuinely good people that I would have to say are more heroes to me then any super man or wonder woman. Some people take vitamins and health supplements to fill in for the needs that their body is lacking. Well my home, my partners, my friends, my family, my hero's, they filled in all those parts in my life and will always be a part of me and my future for ever.

Now the time came for me to move on--to go on to give to others all that others gave to me. And so I move, I change, I go on. The city girl once again becomes a country girl.

I love it out here. It's different. It's quieter. It's slower. It's big, and green, and with less people there is a greater feeling of God's presence. Last time I was in a place like this was four years ago when I lived in Brazil. It scared me. I took the lack of people as a lack of life, the lack of busyness as a lack of living. I had to learn to find Jesus' within myself, to hear his voice in the silence, to see his face in nature, to feel his love in my heart and mind. It's not until I learned this that I could really have faith which gave me hope which gave me love which gave me peace. And so I'm here in again, in the boonies, away from most of "civilization" and yet surrounded by life, and I am happy. I'm still having to adjust, to find my pace in body and mind and spirit, and I do miss Japan. I miss the people, I miss my people, my Matsuoka family and especially my Eiko and my girls, my Chiba family, my June-san and Noel, my favorite neighbors of all time, Yasu and Dawn, my most loved big sisters Celeste and Grace, my bestest friends, Mike and Joanie and my godbaby Kayden. I miss my friends, I miss my Laura, my knightly big brothers, and my too many precious priceless friends that have given me love and joy and life. But I love that I'm here with my family, my big papa bear, my crazy beautiful best friend mom, my favorite role model and awesomest Cha, and her Joe and Jason who are my pride and joy, my prince charming big little brother Greg, my darling life loving Lainy, handsome Boo, smart cutie Chris, cuddly lovable willy bug, and pretty princess Annie.

No matter where I go or what I do or who I am with I've come to know and trust that God will always be there to fill my life with lessons, with love, with family, with faith, hope, and love. And so whether I'm a city girl, a country girl, or just a girl, I am a happy girl.